*Drafted sometime in 2018 but never published*
I have a job now, and I don’t enjoy it. I find it hard to self motivate. It’s related to feeling so out of my depth. There’s so many layers of management that review and authorise everything we draft, so that can cripple my ability to feel it’ll ever pass. I’m also not clear on what our role can influence and change – external parties see us as being able to change laws, but really, it’s pretty unlikely. Ministers wish we did more for customers, even when it’s a private company that now runs the company, not the govt.
I took this job as I felt I was stagnating in my previous role. Not being challenged and not really learning. It feels similar now; there was learning, but I mostly feel blah.
Whilst I was on a month’s break from the long standing job, I ended up brainstorming a business idea with my friends. I didn’t really do anything more with it, other than meet with one of my priests to talk about their perspective. It’s related to an industry where I could take an entry level job to test the waters. When I had an informational interview with one family owned business, I realised just how lowly paid it is.
Prior to this call, I’d spent time analysing my expenses this year. Looking at what I budgeted vs what I spent. I don’t usually actively budget, but with the four weeks off work, I took half my usual salary and with some big bills, threw me for six. When I look at all my spending (and not saving), I worked out the salary I could live on.
The numbers surprised me, they are low.
They just aren’t as low as this information interview number.